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0:00Whoa, hey, Eric.0:01Butters, guess what? I have a surprise for you.0:03A surprise? What is it?0:05It's so fucking awesome. You're gonna be so stoked. It's the best surprise ever.0:10Oh, boy!0:11You ready?0:12Yeah!0:12Okay, just open your mouth and close your eyes and get on your knees.0:16Okay!0:17Hang on a second here. Okay, open your mouth, Butters.0:20That's good, just like that.0:22Hey, hey, wait a minute. This ain't a trick, is it?0:24You're not gonna stick something yicky in my mouth, are you?0:27I swear on my mother's life, Butters, I'm not going to stick anything yicky in your mouth.0:32Alright, just, okay, open it, good, okay, here it comes.0:34Just sit really still, okay, here we go.0:37Butters!0:39Whoa, hey, Dad!0:40Butters, what are you doing?0:42I'm getting a surprise!0:44Oh my God, my only son reduced to this!0:48Hey, where did it go?0:49Butters, how long have you been doing stuff like this?0:52Like what?0:53Don't lie to me, Butters! I know your secret now!0:55My son is a good kid. He just didn't understand Tourette's was a real disease.0:59Well, I think the only thing left now is for your son to apologize to his little classmate.1:08Well, Kyle?1:11I'm sorry.1:13Oh, what was that? I couldn't quite make that out, Kyle.1:16I'm sorry.1:17You're starry?1:19I don't get what you mean by that, Kyle. You're starry because I don't...1:21I said I'm sorry, you piece of...1:23Oh, oh, no, don't worry about it, Cal. I understand. I've learned to deal with intolerance.1:27Dumb shit, douchebag!1:29And it means a lot that you're standing here apologizing with your dad and lovely mother.1:33Fat Jew! Jew bitch!1:35Oh, thank you, Eric.1:38Big nose cake!1:40Well, I think we can all put this behind us now. Piss out my ass!1:44Yeah, piss out your ass right onto Kyle's mom's fat fucking Jew face!1:49Oh, oh, oh, goodness, excuse me. Jeez, that was a bad one.1:52...about the wedding.1:53Yeah, sure, what about it?1:54I think it's best that when the time comes for the mall to open, you should stay back a bit from the doors.1:59Why?1:59Well, think about it.2:01The first people inside are gonna have to take on the brunt of the holiday shoppers from the main entrance.2:05It's best we let Butters and Scott Malkinson go first.2:07While they fight, we can simply slip on by.2:10Well yeah I guess that makes sense but Butters and Scott won be able to get their PS4s Yes that true but let face it Sir Stan This is all about you and me getting playstations the rest are simply there to help us get you2:24They're just acting like they've given up, but it's a double bluff2:29They're gonna betray you at the Red Robin wedding he got the idea watch a game of thrones2:36Who is that he did it all crazy guy to get pissed off cuz I'm in his garden all the time2:40They're gonna lock you in god damn it shut up. He talked about in my garden to like three other people2:46They're gonna lock you in the red Robin and then go get all the xboxes. That's why I want you to stay back from the doors2:51Well, why don't you just tell the whole world everything, huh?2:54Why don't you tell everyone what Prometheus was about while you're at it?2:57Did Kyle know about this dude? We're not gonna betray you. Come on. Did you see Prometheus?3:02I don't think the writers even knew what that was about did Kyle know about this3:06Kyle thought of it3:08Dan dude hold on Xbox one is fucking sweet dude3:17you're a fucking asshole fuck you get out of my garden I'll shit in your3:21fucking garden go fuck yourself um I want a Twinkie all right dear hold on3:27mrs. Cartman they're going to be some rule changes around here Eric first of3:31No video games until chores are done.3:37I'm serious.3:38Let's put down the video game and go to the kitchen.3:41No thanks, I'd rather not.3:42Right, then I'm going to have to take it.3:45What the hell do you think you're doing?3:47Come on.3:49This video game is going right here on the counter3:51until we've done some chores.3:53Now, first thing we're going to do is make your bed.3:57Eric, no, this is not acceptable.3:59Stop trying to bogart my Xbox, you fat bitch.4:02All right, that's it.4:03You're going to time out.4:05Time out?4:06Whenever you are naughty, Eric,4:08you are going to sit on this stool for five minutes.4:12And what exactly keeps me on the stool?4:15It's the time out stool.4:16You can't get down until the time is up.4:21Whoa, how did I do that?4:25Eric, you have to stay and time out.4:27Um, no.4:29Come on you don have a choice All right Susie you starting to piss me off now Eric you need to listen to me This is very important I getting down to eye level with Eric so that I can talk to him on his level4:40Eric, you need to understand why you are being punished, all right?4:44I'm just gonna get down as soon as you move.4:46Well then, I'll just have to stand right here!4:53He's spitting my mouth!4:55Yeah, it's best to avoid his level.4:57How come you're not a mommy?5:00Oh, I just never had kids.5:02Why not?5:04It just didn't happen.5:07You're sterile, is that it?5:10No, that's too convenient of an excuse.5:12The truth is, nobody ever wanted to have babies with you.5:14Isn't that it?5:16Always the mom's maid, never the mom?5:18Must be hard on you, knowing that the years are ticking away.5:21Your friends all getting married, and all the while, your uterus slowly shriveling away.5:25Draying up, becoming totally worthless.5:27Why you...5:30You little bastard! How dare you!5:33Eric Naughty.5:34Please welcome David Nelson!5:39Good morning, students. How are we all feeling today?5:44Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!5:52I would like to share with you all my...5:55Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha! No! Dude! No sucking way!6:00Dude!6:04That words are like bullets.6:06And if you give...6:12Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!6:14Eric, be quiet!6:16No, no, it's okay.6:18He'll run out of steam here pretty soon.6:30Look, look, look, look!6:36They put a little su-6:37Mr. Nielsen.6:38Stacy, go ahead and send in Eric Cartman.6:41Eric Mr Nielsen is concerned about how you respond to little people Oh did I hurt its little feelings6:58You know, you think you have the power to make me insecure, but your words are actually completely powerless.7:03If we could get like eight of these, we could dress them all up like little beavers, right?7:07And then put them in a pond and see if they build a dam.7:13You see, no matter what you say, I'm still standing.7:17Barely!7:20No matter how you act, I can rise above it.7:23Rise above it!7:25Get it?7:26Shut your fucking mouth!7:28Mr. Nilsen!7:33He didn't get to me.7:35I was just joking.7:36Look how its face gets all red.7:38He's like a little strawberry.7:44Well, I'm in Japanese prison load.7:47Japanese prison got me down.7:51Said I'm in Japanese prison, lord.7:54Don't be long here, my eyes are round.7:58Will you stop that?8:00Oh, I'm sorry.8:04Okay, children, let's take our seats.8:06We have a lot to learn today.8:08We sure do, Mr. Hayat.8:10Okay, children, let's start the day with a few new math problems.8:13What is five times two?8:17Come on, children, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot.8:20Yes, Clyde?8:21Twelve?8:22Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.8:26Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.8:28I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison.8:30Shut up, fat boy!8:31Hey, don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!8:33Eric, did you just say the F word?8:36Jew?8:36No, he's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fat ass.8:39Kyle!8:39Why the fuck not?8:40Eric!8:41Dude, you just said fuck again.8:42Stanley!8:43Who?8:43Kenny!8:44What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody.8:45How would you like to go see the school counselor?8:49How would you like to suck my balls?8:52What did you say?8:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.8:55Actually, what I said was...8:57How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Gersie?