30 of 30 daily downloads left · resets in 7hSign in for 50 a day
Transcript
0:00The End0:06Psst Cartman!0:08No! Uncle Jesse! No! Cartman wake up!0:10What the hell are you guys doing?0:12Come on we gotta go!0:14Where are we going? We're gonna go save the little baby cows fat ass!0:16What? Why?0:18Cause they're gonna get slaughtered tomorrow butthole!0:20So? So we can't let them die douchebag! You're our friend now come help us!0:22Well let's see in the last 3.2 seconds you've called me fat ass, butthole and douchebag!0:26I really don't feel much like you guys' friend!0:28like you guys a friend.0:29We're sorry, you are our friend.0:30We need you to help us because friends stick together.0:32Wait, I thought you said we needed him0:34because he has the Mission Impossible0:36breaking and entering playset.0:38Dammit, Buttersview, shut up.0:39Uh-ho, so you need me and my Mission Impossible0:42breaking and entering playset.0:43Yes, we do.0:44We're those little baby cows only hope.0:46Will you help us?0:47Yes, yes I will.0:49If Kyle will kiss my black ass.0:50What?0:51Just give it a little kiss and I'll help.0:53Screw you, Cartman.0:54Okay, but if you want my help,0:55you have to give it just a little kiss.0:57Kiss it.0:57Go on, dude. It's the only way.0:58No! Kiss it. Come on, kiss it.1:00Just do it really fast and we can go.1:02Half-butters kiss it.1:03No, it has to be Kyle.1:11Okay, everyone take a silly bus1:13and pass it to the amigo behind you.1:16Hey, man, what the hell do you think you're doing?1:18Yeah.1:20Mr. Cartmanes is here to make sure you all get into college.1:23Getting into college? Man, we ain't getting no college.1:25Fuck you.1:26Yeah!1:27Yeah!1:30How do I reach these kids?1:35The reason that you think you can't get into college is because you haven't been taught how to cheat properly.1:41How do you think white people always get their head?1:43Because we cheat all the time. I mean because they cheat all the time.1:56Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey2:03Hey!2:05Hey!2:09Uh, yes, officer?2:11Hey, clocked you at 40 miles an hour back there.2:13Do you know what the speed limit is, huh?2:15Well, according to that sign right there,2:17it's 40 miles an hour.2:19Step out of the car, please, sir.2:21Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend?2:23Step out of the car, please.2:25Yeah, you're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house.2:28I am a cop, and you will respect my authority!2:32Yeah, right. You better get back to school, little boy.2:35Ow!2:36Get your ass to jail!2:38Ow!2:39Hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't do that!2:41Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!2:43Sweet.2:48I am going to wipe the playground with you right in front of everyone!2:52If you got beat up by a girl, everyone would think you were a faggot.2:55All right, kids, for your homework tonight, I want you all to read chapter seven.3:05Kick the shit out of them, Wendy.3:09Soon as the bell rings, we gotta get out there and find a good place to watch the...3:12There's no way out. She's gonna kick my ass in front of everyone.3:19Almost in.3:19And be ready for a quiz tomorrow morning.3:22I totally can't see the fight, dude. I've got detention after school.3:27Detention? That's it?3:29I gotta get detention! Fast!3:31Eric, did you just take a crap on my desk?3:52What up What up Crapped on your desk Doug What up with that That bull sucks He not even bucking or anything Yeah this is sweet What are you gonna do Hit the bull in the balls with a snowball4:03Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.4:07That's better. Hold on, Cartman.4:09Yeah, seriously, dude!4:11There's something!4:12There's something crazy, dude!4:14Motherfuck!4:16Get up, Cartman. You're still not staying on long enough.4:19Come on, Cartman.4:20No, he didn't kill him. He's still breathing. Get up!4:27All right, Major Stone Shield potions should be...4:31Oh, God. I'm gonna have diarrhea again.4:33Uh...4:34You can't go to the bathroom. You're stacking sunder armor.4:38It's okay.4:39Ma'am! Bash room!4:41What, hon?4:42Bash room! Bash room!4:44Oh, that's a big boy, isn't he?4:53Alright, Kenny, drink your elixir of the mongoose.4:55I'm now going to use mocking blow.4:57And if we can just get you to sign here and here.5:00You sure this is what you want, sweetie?5:02My own amusement park, Mother. I'm sure.5:04I can't sell this poor kid my park.5:07Look, I haven't been honest with you.5:09The park hasn't been doing great business.5:11Oh, but I'm not buying the park to get people to come.5:13No, no, no! I'm buying it to keep people out!5:17If there's one thing I hate...5:19All the lies, lies, lies, lies!5:23And so you see, this park is for me. Nobody else will be allowed in.5:27Oh, well, then I guess I don't feel bad.5:29Ha ha! Sweet!5:32Yes!5:35Yes!5:37Oh, cool!5:40Oh, look how much fun I had!5:41Woohoo! Yes! Yes! I'm so happy! I'm so happy!5:53Alright I guess we should taste each other chili huh This chili looks pretty good Here mine I don know Your chili is good Cartman but I think mine is better Try it6:04All right.6:11Hey, this is great.6:14It's a special recipe.6:16This is really good, Scott.6:18I'm glad you like it so much, because now that you're almost finished,6:21I have something to tell you.6:23What? You mean about how you put pubes in your chili?6:27What?6:29Yes, I'm afraid this isn't your chili, Scott.6:31I switched it with Chef's.6:33It's delicious, Chef. I hadn't planned on that.6:36What I did plan on, however, was that my friends Stan and Kyle would betray me6:39and warn you that the Chili Con Carnival was a trap.6:43I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained Dinkins' pony to bite off your wiener.6:47What they didn't tell you was that Dinkins is a crazy redneck6:50who shoots trespassers on sight.6:52Knowing that you would go and try to do something to the pony,6:54I warned Mr. Dinkins that violent pony killers were in the area.6:57I also knew that you wouldn't go yourself6:59for fear of having your wiener bitten off.7:01You would most likely send your parents.7:03And I'm afraid that when Mr. Dinkins spotted them on his property,7:07he shot and killed both your parents.7:09Ah! Ah! Ah!7:11Well, they was trespassing and I was protecting myself.7:14I have my rights.7:16My mom and dad are dead?7:18I came just in time to see Mr. Dinkins giving his report to Officer Barbrady.7:22And, of course, to steal the bodies.7:25After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my chili gun carnival7:29so that I could tell you personally about your parents' demands.7:32And, of course, feed you your chili.7:35Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott?7:37I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tenerman Chili.7:43Oh, my God!7:44Oh my god!7:50Na na na na na na, I made you eat your parents.7:53Na na na na na na.