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0:00I'm late.0:23Yes, sir.0:25You're not going to say anything?0:30I wanna do it till I can't get enough0:45You sure you're not mad?0:47No, sir.0:48For me, I'd be pissed off.0:50Disappearing for two weeks, no explanation, show up hungover, a plate.0:56Come on, you gotta be a little angry.0:59No, sir.1:00Mildly perturbed?1:05How come it is every time you say sir, it sounds more and more like fuck you?1:09I have no idea, sir.1:15Must be wondering where I was. You ever heard of Pharon IV?1:19Well, we're in training. We haven't gotten off planet yet.1:22Yeah, that's right.1:23It's a shithole of a planet that was on the verge of Civil War.1:26The point is, if I'm hungover, it's only because I was celebrating the new piece.1:30So how'd you manage it?1:32A little bit of diplomacy, a little punchy, you know the drill.1:35Actually, I don't, sir. That's the point.1:36No. We got all the time in the world.1:38With all due respect, we've been doing this, what, two months?1:43And I haven't even worn the ring yet.1:45Don't get hung up on the jewelries, you know. You're where it chooses you.1:49I thought the point was that the Guardians chose me. That's all.1:52The big group bosses may think that you're hot shit if you're just a fucking substitute teacher, Junior.1:57You're not ready to get up in front of the class and take a ring, says you are.2:09Yeah?2:10You wanna take it?2:12Is that a test?2:16There's a taco stand up the road about three miles.2:19I'll meet you there.2:22Do a little dance baby little girl Push down the light push down the light Do a little dance baby little girl I gonna do it I gonna do it I gonna do it man I gonna do it I gonna do it2:35Shit.2:37Am I dead?2:39What?2:41You're wearing my ring.2:43Is that supposed to be funny?2:45I'm gonna do it.2:47Shit.2:49Am I dead?2:51What?2:53You funny?2:54Hey, did I do something to piss you off?2:57Because if I did, I'm sorry.2:59You, Hal Jordan, sorry.3:01That's right.3:02I must have a concussion.3:05Wait a second.3:06Wait a second.3:07Let's start at the beginning.3:10Who are you and why are you wearing my ring?3:12I'm Jon Stewart, your trainee.3:15Lanterns don't have trainees from their own sector.3:17They do now.3:19What year is it?3:23Holy.3:25You want to tell me what you think is going on?3:28I'm a backup of Hal Jordan's consciousness.3:30Combined with the sentience of the ring,3:31I'm here to give myself a message.3:33So you are Hal?3:34No, yes. Mostly-ish.3:36Well, it's like when you store yourself in the cloud,3:39only every once in a while when you need it in the real world, you...3:43Lanterns that are required to be uploaded weekly for posterity's sake,3:46in case something happens to us.3:51I should have taught you this.3:55I thought I was training you.3:57Yeah, I thought so, too.3:58When were you last backed up?4:00Evidently ten years ago.4:02Listen, I need to find myself.4:04Where am I?4:04Well, you're three miles up the street eating tacos.4:07Oh, good.4:08You can fly us there, then.4:11I haven't taught you how to fly yet, have I?4:20I tell you what.4:21You tell me what you want me to tell you.4:26Do I trust you?4:28I mean, you know, we, uh, we get along.4:33We get along. Great.4:39There's Hale in Rushville, Nebraska.4:44That's it?4:45Well, I know what I mean.4:51I not going to be late Let the man breathe5:07It's not a petting zoo.5:09Come on.5:10I'll bring your foot to your table, Mr. Jordan.5:12Thank you, my man.5:14Thanks, friend.5:15Thanks.5:15Thanks.5:19Um, um, I'm...5:21Do you think that my daughter could maybe...5:23Absolutely.5:24Come on.5:26There you go.5:28Harry.5:30You're very welcome.5:31She misses the suit.5:33I didn't say that.5:35Tell your mom I still wear it on special occasions.5:54I could have fucking died.6:00You want me to train you? I'm training you.6:04How'd you save yourself?6:06What'd you make with the ring?6:09Bubble wrap.6:12Now you're a genius.6:14Yeah.6:15This starts on the house.6:17Well, thank you very much.6:19Can I ask why all your special locations?6:24It's like when you're young and eager and you like to prove yourself so you wear a tie so people will take you seriously.6:31But when you get older and wiser, you realize ties are a pain in the ass.6:41Good one.6:43Good one.6:46Give me my ring.6:47You sent yourself a message, by the way6:55What are you talking about?6:58The ring6:58Your backup consciousness7:00You were a lot nicer ten years ago7:02What did I say?7:04There's hail in Rushville, Nebraska7:06Pay the check7:17Motherfucker.7:30They ditched me I was testing you seeing if you had it in you to get yourself here on your own7:37You've been here six hours.7:39So why are they still processing the scene?7:43Emergency services from two different counties7:45are interviewing witnesses, escort them out ten at a time.7:49It's a decidedly small town base.7:52I don't get it.7:53You flew all the way here just to ride the bench.7:58The answer to that mystery is heading right to you.8:02Sheriff, uh, uh, Cain.8:05Uh, John Stewart.8:08Carrie.8:10John, training under how?8:13What an honor.8:14Because it was certainly an honor to meet him when he arrived.8:18You don't have jurisdiction.8:19She's about to tell you we don't have jurisdiction.8:21You don't.8:22I will.8:22I can't do this again.8:25Look, you're a big shot. Noted.8:27But your jurisdiction only covers extraterrestrial events.8:31This, this is pretty much the definition of terrestrial.8:34These victims are going to end up being aliens.8:36Based on what?8:37I have a feeling.8:38He has a feeling.8:39I have a very strong feeling.8:41Well, then by all means, the scene is yours.8:46Well, it seems kind of mellow for a mass shooting, don't you think?8:50They're in shock.8:53Or nobody knows the victims.8:56Does anybody seem extra upset to you down there?9:01You see anybody standing with the bodies?9:05Say it with me now.9:07Aliens.9:09Look, I know you think you're helping,9:13but you need to trust me.9:15These people are my friends.9:17They're my neighbors.9:18They understand your job.9:19They know we're not alone.9:21There's a difference between hearing that on CNN and seeing it up close.9:25If it ends up being the case, we'll deal with it.9:27But until then, I'm trying to keep the scene calm.9:31So if you could do me a favor, keep away from the news fans.9:37It was nice to meet you.9:39Now if you'll both kindly stay the fuck out of my way.9:49She's something incredible, isn't she?9:53Think she hates her guts?9:55Yeah, but it's the way she hates them.10:00So what's going on here?10:05I don't know.10:06If I'm not mistaken, I...10:09Why don't you tell me?10:14Looks to me like Rushville scored a game-winning field goal.10:21Kicking block is still out there.10:24Fence is broken.10:26My guess is home fans rushed the field.10:28This being a rivalry, a few visitor fans wander onto the field.10:33This being Nebraska, more than a few are carrying.10:36You got four dead, all in visitor sweatshirts.10:40And still none of this explains why you think it has anything to do with aliens.10:48You know, I've been doing this job since you were a baby.10:51I'm the only person on this old goddamn plan that's ever done this job.10:55I say I got a fucking feeling, I got a fucking feeling, Jr.10:57Hale in Rushville, Nebraska.11:00You've been monitoring this exact spot.11:02Hale obviously means aliens.11:04Christ, they even sound the fucking same.11:07So we both know this is more than just a feeling.11:09Do we?11:10Yeah, we do.11:12Here's all you need to know.11:13This is my job.11:16And as long as I'm alive, that ain't changing.11:19And I don't plan on dying anytime soon.11:21So why don't you do yourself a big favor and take a nice long deep breath, Junior?11:27Fuck. They wanted him still here.11:40Yeah, the one in the short-sleeved shirt. Been clocking him since I got here, trying to figure out why he didn't bullet point what he still wants here.11:47You told the sheriff?11:49Of course not.11:51Why is that crime scene?11:53That's how you'd play this if you had the ring.11:55Yeah, I respect the chain of command.12:01Well, by all means, go respect it.12:11Would you excuse me?12:15Hey, shithead.12:17What part of the state of the fuck away was confusing?12:21There's something you need to say.12:22If you were about to tell me about the redneck and the short sleeves who ditched his only worn clothes so we wouldn put in with the other victims I trying to make sure he doesn get spooked and start shooting the place up like his dead friends12:36I just fucked up, didn't I?12:38I suspect you're dead.12:47Jordan!12:48Assface!12:50You can join me?12:51So help me God if that song plays one more time,12:54I'm gonna put you inside that fucking jukebox!12:59I think he's talking to you.13:01Yeah, here.13:02You wanna fight?13:05You wanna go to jail.13:08You wanna go to jail so you can talk to that guy13:11that Mrs. Sheriff doesn't want you to talk to.13:13That guy. Alien.13:15This is a stupid plan.13:17No, no, that's stupid.13:18That I do not doubt.13:20All right, here we go.13:31Look, it's gonna look like they're really kicking the shit out of me,13:35so you're gonna be tempted jumping, but I need you to stay right here.13:38Will do. You got it.13:43Thanks.13:50Hey fellas, tell me something.13:54What the fuck is your problem with roller?13:57Hey boy, see what you got.14:00Oh my, you look like my sister.14:02You smell like a bitch on the fuck.14:04You gonna say yes?14:07He didn't get down on one knee, but ring's a ring.14:10No, I don't think he wants me to have this ring, ever.14:15But he gave it to you.14:17I reckon he's testing me.14:18Testing you how?14:20Gives a shit.14:28What are you drinking, stranger?14:29Coke.14:30Coke and what?14:31Coke and Coke.14:32Don't tell me you're a teetotaler.14:34No, I'm just on the job.14:36Being a space cop.14:40I told you I was a space cop.14:43You mean your partner is one?14:45Figures you are two.14:47Nah, he's not my partner.14:48I'm just training.14:50How many trainees does he have?14:52Just me.14:53Why'd he pick you?14:54He didn Our bosses did Space cops have bosses Come on Ed Everybody got bosses15:09So, once you're trained, then you're an official space cop, too?15:14The way it works is Earth has one lantern.15:18So I'm just being trained in case anything happens to Jordan.15:23You're the backup quarterback.15:25I'm patient.15:27No you're not.15:29All right, Amy!15:31Freeze!15:33Get out!15:35I gotta call you, get out of here!15:37Get out!15:43All right.15:51Let's go, sir.15:53Nice talking to you, stranger.15:59Aggregated assault and resisting arrest.16:01How does the defendant plead?16:03With all due respect, Your Honor, come on.16:06Come on?16:07Look, I'm just trying to question a suspect in the course of a very serious investigation, which I...16:11Ah, an investigation.16:13Am I to understand, sir, that you are a law enforcement official?16:17And if so, could you kindly state for the record which agency you represent?16:23I'm Green Lantern.16:24I didn't ask who you were.16:25I asked which bureau you are an agent of.16:29I'm Green Lantern, and I'm an agent of Green Lantern.16:34Look, I introduced myself to Lady Justice back here16:37when I got to the crime scene, and I deferred to her jurisdiction.16:41Is that accurate, Sheriff?16:43Yeah, but the deference was pretty cheeky, Your Honor.16:46You cheeky, Mr. Jordan?16:48Yeah, don't answer that.16:49William Macon for the defense, Your Honor.16:53Sorry I'm late.16:54Mr. Macon, the defendant has chosen to represent himself.16:58That's only because he doesn't understand he's being made an example of,17:02which, Your Honor, is absurd given Mr. Jordan is a hero.17:06Granted, he hasn't formally retained my...17:09You're hired. He's hired.17:11Fantastic.17:12The defense enters a plea of not guilty17:14and asks Your Honor to set reasonable bail,17:17even understanding Mr. Jordan is technically a flight risk,17:21because he can fly.17:25Who is this guy My husband I setting bail at Oh come on Now you know the price of each17:35Come on, Mr. Jordan.17:37Shall we try another?17:38No, that's understood.17:39And thank you, Your Honor.17:41My father will have the check to your clerk by lunch.17:44All right, then.17:46Mr. Jordan, don't leave town.17:48We're adjourned.17:51Yeah, thanks for the sake.17:53Oh, truly an honor.17:54But I tend to find that strangers who give me a couple hundred thousand dollars no strings attached usually turn out to be bad guys.18:01But there are strings attached, Mr. Jordan. My father would love to have supper with you this evening.18:07He's a huge fan and someone I think you'll find like-minded.18:11What are you doing, Billy?18:12I was just inviting Mr. Jordan up to the ranch tonight. Honey?18:18They're married. Of course they are. Small town. Everyone's related.18:22I'd be offended if that wasn't absolutely true.18:26Billy Macon, you must be John.18:28You say?18:28You like barbecue?18:30Junior here's a vegan.18:31He doesn't believe in anything that causes enjoyment.18:33But we'd love to come to supper.18:35Yeah, well, only if it's okay with the sheriff.18:38The more the merrier.18:52I'm going to go.19:23Melitia.19:30Melitia.19:33Walks like a duck, shoots an AR-15 like a duck, blah, blah, blah duck.19:52Good evening.19:57So glad you could make it.20:00How are you doing?20:01This is our boy, Noah.20:02All right.20:03How are you doing, Noah?20:04This is Mr. Stewart and Mr. Jordan.20:05Noah.20:06Offense or defense?20:07Whatever they need, mister.20:09Team player.20:11Good man.20:15Sorry.20:16I've got to take this.20:17Dad's waiting in the kitchen for you gentlemen.20:19Come with me to help Grandma set up.20:21Hey!20:24Yep.20:26Paul.20:30A lot of beer.20:33God, yes.20:35Ah, here.20:53My father-in-law's got paper on you and you haven't even met him yet.20:57He's not a man you want to owe.20:58He sounds like a woman in debt.21:04It's not too late.21:05You can just fly on home, spare yourself the moment not too long from now21:09when you wish you'd never come to this place.21:13No.21:15Well, exciting enough, Hal Jordan just walked into my kitchen, but with a bag of beer.21:29I'm truly blessed.21:30The least I can do.21:31This is John.21:32John, we'll make him.21:34I'd shake, but my hands are all gunky with meat.21:37Word on the street is you don't partake.21:39Ordered you up some tofu steaks.21:41Hope that'll do you.21:42Oh, that's very kind.21:43I appreciate it.21:45And I appreciate your service, sir.21:47Marine sniper, color me impressed.21:50Oh, look me up.21:52You didn't look me up?21:56Jesus.21:57Walking into unknown territory,21:58even with a weapon of mass destruction on your finger,22:01that's either trust or arrogance.22:02Well, he's trust, I'm arrogance.22:04I don't trust anybody.22:05Man after my own heart.22:08You got a nice place here, Will.22:10Yeah, it is, isn't it?22:13Alas, not mine.22:14I'm just a caretaker.22:16Mind me asking who you care take it for?22:19I don't mind at all.22:20Regrettably my NDA restricts me from discussing or IDing my employer Because of the government I sorry The government I guessing the government they probably watching your boss buy them their time before they raid this compound take his guns and rights away22:37You think we bailed you out so we could enlist you22:40in some wackadoo war with the feds?22:43Well, why else would you bail me out?22:45Well, because of the goddamn aliens, son.22:48Why the fuck else?22:50What else?22:55Man, the whole world flipped out when you first came on the scene.22:59Makes sense, seeing what you can do.23:02But it kind of buried the lead.23:05There are thousands of planets out there with intelligent light.23:08And here we sit, low-hanging fruit of the galaxy, just waiting to get gobbled up.23:13This land we're on right now, it was Kiowa, then Sioux, but across the ocean, boats were coming.23:20You know, he's just someone who spent time in the galaxy.23:24It's a pretty peaceful place out there.23:27Well, what do they need space cops for?23:33Look, I'm not some isolationist crackpot with his head in the sand,23:37but I am a student of history.23:40Colonization is ugly from any angle, but I tell you,23:44it is particularly bleak if you're the one getting colonized.23:47All right. This all, call it an ounce of prevention.23:51Seems like a bit more than an ounce.23:53My point is, I believe the gentleman cooling his heels23:56and the sheriff's pokey, he's part of an advanced team.24:00And I'd ask you what your reason to believe is,24:02but I'm guessing it's covered by your NDA.24:05My daughter and I says you're not that bright.24:07Your daughter lost what's holding me up from talking to that fella.24:11All right. I can clear that brush.24:15in exchange for.24:17Let's see.24:41You're aiming.24:43Sorry, sir.24:45Don't aim. Just imagine. You're going through.24:53Try again Hey don don force it Just imagine25:10Hey! What'd I say? What'd I just say?25:16That was great.25:18How'd you know that?25:19So my dad used to shoot apples off my head.25:23Grandma!25:25Come on, I got one too.25:26So be, sweetheart.25:32You live here?25:34Mm-hmm.25:36Zoe Macon.25:41Now you have my name.25:44Come on, sweetheart.25:45Let's go find everyone.25:46All right.25:46Come on.25:47I'm sorry.25:53Well, we drank all your beer, but I put together some leftovers for you.25:57Much obliged.25:58And I talked to Carrie.26:00Since you and I have common interests, she's willing to let you chat with the suspect first thing in the morning.26:05Well...26:09You know, that's the thing, Will.26:11I don't know what your interests are.26:14Two of my boys almost got killed last night.26:17In a shootout with men no one's ever seen before.26:20How about we both want to protect the planet from anybody not boring on it?26:27Hope I didn't mess up your tofu, soldier.26:30No, sir.26:32It's delicious.26:34Good.26:35Nothing better than eating off another man's grill.26:40Good night, gentlemen.26:44Go ahead.26:49Hi.26:50What was that all about?26:55I might have slept with his wife.26:57Might have?27:01I definitely slept with his wife.27:05And he knows?27:09Apparently.27:10Jesus Christ, we've only been here 24 hours.27:14I'm impressed.27:19Called his boss, says he's worked for him almost five years now.27:23Aliens are good at getting IDs and paying people to lie for him He just a dipshit from Kimball They took x at the hospital for his busted nose All organs accounted for no hidden antennas27:37Plural for antenna is antennae.27:39What's the plural for each shit?27:44Junior, tell the sheriff here how many species currently27:46have the technology to pass as human.27:4814 MRIs, x-rays, blood work.27:51Nothing down here can tell the difference.27:54So you can't prove it.27:55I can make him confess.27:56If you lay a finger on him, you're back in front of the judge.28:00That includes whacking him with giant green phone books28:02or whatever you magic up from your conjuring ring.28:05I wouldn't dare.28:06Ten minutes.28:07I only need five.28:08I'm coming with you.28:09You are not.28:19Alien my ass.28:22You know, we're all aliens.28:24It just depends which planet you're standing on.28:27Would you like a cup of coffee?28:30No, thank you. I'm fine.28:33I imagine you just want to phone home up.28:36Get home, I bet. Yes, sir.28:39And home is Kimball.28:42Well, I mean, I'm on the road most of the year,28:44but Kimball's where I hang my hat. Yes, sir.28:46Hey, what a delightfully human expression.28:49And, uh, boy, you're in town for the big game.28:51Must be a big rivalry.28:53I mean, uh, Kimball's, boy, that's a two, two and a half hour drive?28:58Yeah, sorry about that.28:59I just, you know, I love football, though, and, uh, it's a home team.29:04I love football, too.29:07When did Nebraska win its first national championship?29:10Sorry?29:11Uh, you love football. You're from Nebraska.29:15Huskers' first championship, when was that?29:19Uh, it was from 1970, Bob.29:23Devaney. That is correct.29:25How about their first 200-yard rush?29:27Uh, Frank Solich.29:30First Heisman winner? Johnny Rogers.29:32That's it.29:33Where did Harry Potter go to school?29:36Excuse me?29:37Harry Potter. Boy wizard.29:39What was the name of the school?29:42I don't know.29:44It was a book.29:46I don't read a lot.29:47Well, you go to the movies, don't you?29:49They only made, like, 22 of them.29:50Oh, I watch a lot of football.29:52That's the rub, isn't it?29:54What?29:55Pretending to be someone that you're not.29:57You learn all the specifics,29:58but you don't learn what everyone else knows.30:00I don't understand. Who are you exactly?30:05Hal Jordan, Green Lantern.30:08Charged by the Guardians of the Universe.30:10Protect Sector 2814 from all extraplanetary threats.30:13And you, Waylon, are one of them.30:17Good Christ, he really is full of himself, isn't he?30:21Can't be easy, having to learn from someone you don't respect.30:25I do respect him.30:27Come on. I do.30:29Why?30:31I don't know. He's fearless.30:34If you care about people, you know, husband, wife, parent, kid,30:39then you're scared of losing them.30:42First time he strutted up to me, I could tell Jordan doesn't care about anybody.30:47And nobody cares about him.30:50He's not fucking fearless. He's lonely.30:54But why did you stick around?30:56What were you looking for? I mean, I get when I showed up. You couldn't run. You had to blend in.31:00But before that...31:02I just went to a high school football game, man.31:04With the other Kimball fans who are all dead now.31:06I don't know them, okay? I told you I drive a truck.31:09Yeah I sure you can tell me a lot about that truck but I bet you can tell me about the Boston Tea Party Kelly Clarkson Barack Obama or a group Barack Obama is the president of the United States That it31:23As a rural Nebraskan, that's the breadth of your opinion31:26of Barack Hussein Obama.31:31He's the 44th president.31:32He followed George W. Bush.31:33There's some controversy surrounding his birth certificate.31:39Holy shit, you are an alien.31:43Let's say you're right.31:52Oh, fuck.31:54Let's say hypothetically31:55that I am not of this salty,31:58smelly world, a visitor31:59who went to great trouble to hide himself well32:02and learned the arcane rules of pointless32:04contests involving balls that somehow32:06captivate more attention than the deteriorating32:08atmosphere or the hunger of its32:10least fortunate people.32:13If I had gone to such lengths, I would be here for a very important purpose, a purpose32:18that required great discretion and secrecy, a purpose that would need to be kept from32:22the likes of a galactic peacekeeping organization because it concerns the exact opposite of32:26peace, that being war.32:30And as such if I were to fall into the hands of such an organization I would be forced to take drastic measures to ensure that my purpose was not revealed32:41Hypothetically.32:47And hypothetically, what might you have to keep your mouth shut, cyanide pill?32:52You're thinking very small.32:53Then give it to me big.32:54I'd have a biometric neutron device woven into my skeleton. I'd be able to activate it with a thought.33:01Unless you let me walk out that door right now.33:03He's bluffing, right?33:05You're not walking out of here hypothetically or otherwise.33:08If you do blow yourself up, I'm just gonna bubble up and contain all that sunshine with my ring and walk out of here without a scratch.33:15You've been here 48 hours. Did you bring the lantern to recharge your ring?33:20I have plenty of power.33:22Hmm. But for how much longer?33:28Yeah.33:31You should be asking yourself if I'm capable of releasing enough energy to eradicate this33:38entire town.33:39We talking or exploding because it's almost lunchtime.33:46It almost seems like you want to die Hell Jordan Does that not violate your precious oath In brightest day and blackest night no evil shall escape my sight34:02Let those who worship evil's might beware my power.34:07Green Lantern's light.34:12Harry Potter, like the Hogwarts, you ignorant alien fuck.34:19Are you beeping?34:22Should we go? We should go.34:23It's too late.34:24Why are you here?34:26Why else?34:28Vengeance.34:49I told you he was an alien.